What If
by Ayingott
Summary: What if, you finally meet your lover? What if, he is still hiding the most important thing from you? What would you do? Royal Pair. For the Valentine's day, that already passed.


**Disclaimer: These lovely bishounens aren't mine.**

**Warning: I'm not a grammar guru, so I suck at it. Characters could be OOC, since this **_**is **_**happening some time after the original 'Prince of Tennis' timeline.

* * *

**

**What If?

* * *

**

Keigo walked thought the small garden behind the hospital. His eyes shifted from one patient to the other, looking over each person that came his way and could be seen having fun with his visitors.

But none of them was the one person he was looking for so desperately.

They had told him a week ago, or so, that the man he was looking for all these years could be found here, in the walls of this hospital. No one really knew why he was here and what he was doing, or suffering from. But that's why Keigo was here now, to find out.

Finally, after the years spent for wandering through the different reasons.

When the thought that he might not even be at the back garden crossed Keigo's mind and he was about to turn around and walk back to the ward, shown him by the nurses, his sharp eyes caught the back of the person he was looking for.

Keigo stood there, in that spot, just watching the man's back, pressed against the back of the bench, the long strands of his black hair tied into a ponytail moving together with the weak blows of the warm spring wind. Though, he couldn't see the man's face, Keigo knew, a peaceful expression must me settled on the man's face.

"Ryoma." Keigo called out softy, once close enough. "Is that really you?" his voice got a little louder as he walked closer to the man sitting on the bench.

Slowly the man's head turned a bit, so that he could look at Keigo. The once fiery golden eyes now filled with endless calmness, the serene expression on his face looked out of place to anyone that had known Ryoma for a long time. But still, even if he had changed, it was still the man Keigo had fallen in love with.

"Keigo. So you found me." Ryoma tried to smile, but in the end gave up. He averted his eyes from the elder and returned to watching the little kids play in the sandbox in front of him.

Keigo swallowed and walked around the bushes, to sit next to Ryoma. There was a wheelchair, left by someone, on the other side of Ryoma. Keigo gently pushed it a little but further, so that he could sit down.

They sat in silence, only the laughs of the little kids bounced all around them.

"Why did you…. Why are you here?" Keigo asked, not too sure if he wanted to know now. Maybe, it was better if he stayed oblivious to this.

Ryoma seemed to not have heard the question, since he didn't answer. But when Keigo was about to repeat, he talked. "Because I have nowhere else to go. Not anymore."

"But you have friends, no? What about them? Or they aren't good enough for you?" Keigo couldn't understand why the anger and sadness were suddenly blinding him so much. "Aren't I good enough for you?"

"I can't force this on them." Ryoma simply said, looking down on his palms, neatly crossed over his legs. "And I couldn't force this on you. None of you deserve to go through what I would bring with myself." His voice slowly got quieter and quieter by each word.

Keigo didn't have the will to look at Ryoma. He watched the ants running around on the ground by his feet. "You didn't answer me."

"I love you too much to make you suffer with me, Keigo." Ryoma said and placed his hands on the bench, on the left and right side from himself, as if he wanted to get up and stand. "I just love you too much."

"Then that's even more of a reason to share that pain with me. It's what lovers do, damn it." It was unusual for Keigo to swear. He did it rarely. He forced his eyes to go up a bit and settle on those delicate, thin, white hands of his lover. "Was it the crash?"

Ryoma managed to form a small smile on his lips, one that told of pain and bitterness deep inside. "Partly." He looked at Keigo, "Partly it was the crash, partly… My fear."

"But we could have gone thought it, together!" Keigo stood up and looked down on his pale lover. "And even now, I wouldn't care what's wrong with you, I would still be by your side, care for you, hold your hand, even disobey the doctor's orders and take you to play tennis a bit. Because I love you, no matter what!" The tears from the pent up anger and hurt glistened at the corners of Keigo's eyes, but he wiped them away with the back of his hand. "A grown man crying. Pathetic."

Ryoma's cold hand touched Keigo's warm one and he whispered: "It's not pathetic Keigo. We cry because we feel and as long as we feel, we are alive." His voice was soft and gentle, just like the old times when they tried to makeup after a fight.

"Then why were you here all this time? Here, and not in my arms, Ryoma? What if…?" Keigo couldn't force himself to finish, Ryoma would understand anyway.

"Keigo," Ryoma pulled back his hand, "what if I told you, that that wheelchair over there is mine; what if I told you, that I can't move without it? What would you do?" Ryoma calmly asked and looked at him with clear, golden eyes, waiting for the man to answer. "What if I told you, that I will never walk again?"

* * *

**A/N: I'm in no mood for writing happy stuff lately. And long stuff too. Deal with my oneshots now. **

**This is, sort of, for Valentine's Day (yeah, the one that was six days ago). The one oneshot I did before wasn't Valentine's day-ish enough. Go read it anyway, will you? :D

* * *

**

**20.02.2011.**


End file.
